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Review by Jenn on Aug. 08, 2014 FIVE STARS
This book should be required reading as part of the high school curriculum. I made a couple of these “slips” early on, but thankfully avoided the worst of it thanks to some very strong and frank women in my life. However, I’ve had many friends who have had to learn the hard way–or never learned, and it’s heartbreaking to watch and so unnecessary.
Thank you, Jeanne, for the very straightforward advice and important reminder for all of us. Speaking of that, I think I need to go pad my “ILFU” fund…. ;-)
Review by Michael:
Just finished reading your book, Women Who Think Too Much.
Structurally, I found the book spot on. That’s a compliment to both your writing and your editors. The reading flowed very smoothly.
Content-wise, it was incredibly poignant.
It was heart wrenching to think you went through all that, and to think so many others live like that. I truly was not aware of the intricacies of what goes on behind closed doors in those types of relationships.
I confess that I know of no woman in my circle of friends who lives in those conditions today. I’m not sure if that’s a credit to my choice in friends or the strength and kindness of the people I know.
However, a long time ago (my senior year in high school), I dated a young lady fresh out of a bad relationship that, I can only guess (through rumors at the time), was a lot like what she described.
We dated for almost a year when she abruptly broke it off. After repeatedly asking her why, she reluctantly told me she was going back to her previous boyfriend. From what I knew of her old relationship with this guy, I knew it was very abusive.
I chanced upon her several months after our breakup. When I approached her, she was trying to conceal her black eye behind dark sunglasses. But she assured me she was doing fine.
Years later we met again. She had finally called it quits with him, but not before having two of his children.
So, in an indirect and very personal way, I was exposed to codependency and its abuse.
It truly breaks my heart to hear of situations like this, what you write about. It’s horrific. But I know there are men out there who behave like that. And the cost to women (and the children) is incalculable.
I will never understand how we humans can be so cruel to one another.
You have done a great job with this book. It’s a needed eye-opener, I guess not only just for women, but certainly (and especially) for us men as well.
Jeanne Marie —
You are an incredibly strong woman. I know the past was difficult, hard, unbearable and about twenty other adjectives, but that’s your past now. You’re in a much better place today.
Thank you for opening my eyes to this subject. And for inviting me into your life, if just from a spectator’s seat.
Ex Animo http://theiamblog.wordpress.com/
Review From Anonymous Survivor: Jeanne, just finished your book. Wow. I lived that life for too many years. I’m still processing what it felt like to go back in time with the words you wrote. I have tried to track my tormentor/ex-husband for all these years and never found him. I have always looked over my shoulder, afraid he would find me first. About a month ago I found his obituary. I never thought I could be relieved by a person’s death. I was, and am. I hope your book acts as a reality check and motivator for women in the thick of codependency. I think this is a much needed book. Should be in every women’s shelter across the country.
Review By S K Nicholls:
This month is National Domestic Violence Awareness month and I am reading a few books this month that focus on this troubling issue in different ways. Today I am giving a book review on one of these.
Jeanne Marie taunts her book as “A No Help At All Handbook” and it is with this degree of sarcasm that she presents her case. Domestic violence is a very serious issue affecting more people in America than the statistics can begin to show. Jeanne Marie does an excellent job aiding women to identify themselves as being in a dysfunctional relationship and what to do (or not to do) about it with her “Twelve Slips”, a spoof off of the Twelve Steps programs. While the small book with big ideas uses a rather comical approach to getting women to loosen up and look seriously at their own behaviors, as well as the behaviors of others, the highly qualified author also emphasizes the importance of recognizing where you may be going wrong and where you can go right. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who even suspects that they might be in a dysfunctional relationship. Even if you are not, you will be entertained, and maybe learn something you can use to help another individual less fortunate. It is both moving and inspirational. It is a brief book, an easy read, and quite affordable as it is FREE right now at smashwords. Download and read a copy today. This is easily a five star book. I’ll make it real simple for you: Click right here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/287988
S K Nicholls http://redclayandroses1.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/book-review-women-who-think-too-much-by-jeanne-marie/comment-page-1/#comment-1983
Review by Ishaiya
Wonderful! Downloaded. Thank you, Jeanne-Marie. I love your writing style, it’s beautifully poetic, thought inspiring and moving. You have a wonderful sense of humor too! I shall be sure to spread the word. Have a great week!
Review By Eleanor:
This book throws a funny bone at the heart of dysfunctional relationships and hits you right between the eyes.
Dark humor drives this soul-bearing and sobering narrative, but Jeanne Marie lets it fly without losing the gravity of her subject. Beneath the often laugh-out-loud comedy, Marie’s honesty and vulnerability entice you to notice jarringly familiar experiences that exist in your own life. Her words echo unforgettably, resonating into your everyday life, making it impossible to ignore the empowering mirror she has created for anyone who has ever been… is currently… or wants to be… in a relationship.
It amazes me that such a short and fun book is powerful enough to change your life. A must-read for everyone, particularly women and teens!
Review By Maggie Thom:
“Wow. I don’t know where to even start with this but I can tell you that although it is a tough read, it is a must. Women Who Think Too Much is raw and will punch you in the solar plexus. When I started reading it, no I hadn’t read the blurb about it, I thought it was going to talk about how women are so hard on themselves. Which it did, sort of but it’s really one woman’s journey through co-dependency and abuse and her wish to wake up other women who might be living this kind of life or headed for it.
Jeanne Marie shares her journey through co-dependency and abuse but she does it in a unique way, she calls it the 12 slip step to co-dependency, where she uses dark humor for a dark subject. I think that if she’d just shared her journey, I would have felt awful for her but I don’t think I’d have looked at my life quite so closely. It’s interesting because she talks a lot about all the ways and things she did to avoid looking at her own life for a long time. I think it is brilliantly written. It’s only about sixty pages but it is by no means a quick read.
Try catching your breath after you’ve read it because you won’t while you’re reading it. It’s the elephant in the room that no one talks about, no one shares. I guarantee this book will wake you up like none other. Or at least it should.”
Maggie Thom’s Books! https://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=maggie+thom
“Those damn rose-colored glasses can create such a shady false light that we don’t even recognize the blindfold covering the eyes on the image staring back at us in the mirror. Your book, Women Who Think Too Much, shines a bright light of humor on serious issues. In all that laughter is the courage to put fear where it belongs. Instead of staying afraid to take off the rose-colored glasses, the impulse to keep them on becomes terrifying. (Your mom’s poem is evidence that her sense of humor was a guiding force to a way out of the dysfunctional cycle.)
I’ve read your book…more than once. Instead of congratulatory gratitude (which you absolutely deserve), Jeanne Marie, I give you a big, brave and hearty HEE HA HA YEEHAH! as I stomp my own pair of rose-colored glasses.”
http://wordpress.com/#!/read/blog/id/19456464/ Artist and Publisher of the Wildersoul Colouring Book wrote:
“I like the ‘how not to’ approach, which has a humorous angle, and yet it touches so very deeply.”
Re-blogged on Mm172001’s Blog http://wordpress.com/#!/read/blog/id/13831966/
She wrote: “Already downloaded the book and read it! It’s a great read, informative with humor. Highly recommend it and best part it’s only $1.99!
To Jeanne Marie, “I thought it was great. It took a topic that has been traditionally addressed as you are doing this wrong and this and this and you need to do this. The form in which you wrote your book gave most of the same information but in a humorous way that is less authoritarian but still has the insight.”
Review by: Joyce on April 25, 2013 : FIVE STAR
A must-read for women with Borderline Personality Disorder. Many of us have co-dependency issues. Maybe you can recognize yourself in this book and get the help you need. If you have no sense of your own identity, you need to find out who you are. Jeanne Marie helps you become aware, through her humor, what you’re lacking to become your own person, worthy of not needing someone who controls you.
Review by: Richard on Feb. 23, 2013 : FIVE STAR
I had bought this book for my fiancée, but we ended up reading it together. I really enjoyed it, I laughed out loud.. a lot. Winced in pain like when you hit your knee a few times, I mean I am a man and I am guilty of a lot of the same things in this book…like this one “Classic”!
“Why are the lights on in here? Do you want me to shut them off for you?
Why aren’t there any lights on in here? It’s so dark in here.”
All in all, I just wanted to say it was good to see how a man’s behavior can affect a woman, and after reading this book, I think I can try a little harder to be more considerate.
Review by: Dan on Feb. 23, 2013 FIVE STAR
Take your time when you read through this…then read it again.
A fan of cinema verite? Good thing. Hang on. Jeanne Marie compels you to look in to the mirror and ask yourself if you recognize this wounded gender.
This is not simply a woman’s cautionary tale.
Pull your son away from “Call of Duty”, put a porn blocker on his computer and force him to listen to her story.
Review by: Cherie on Feb 22, 2013 : FIVE STAR
A must read for women of all ages…timely and also timeless lessons for women from every walk of life..it will touch you in ways that you never dreamed of and may even (hopefully) alter the course of your life..and ladies..it’s NEVER too late!
Review by: Jerry on Feb. 21, 2013 : FIVE STAR
This book was excellent. It Really opens your eyes and makes you look at your own relationships. Helped me a lot..
A few days ago, my nephew lost his battle with the family illness, alcoholism. His liver could no longer handle the alcohol and he died in his own bed, alone.
He was the oldest grandchild in our family and the very first baby I fell in love with, a passion that has stayed with me ever since. My three siblings and I have never lost a child, so this is a first for us and we are struggling to accept that he is really gone.
Although I was only 12 when he was born, my sister asked me to be his godmother. He was a gorgeous baby and by the time he was a year old, he had long blonde curls all over his head. I loved those curls. When he got his first haircut, I was devastated. I begged his mom not to cut his curls, but his dad thought he looked girly and he insisted on the haircut. I remember being so mad at both of them and I remember crying for days over the loss of his baby curls.
My sister lived at home when he was born, so he and I spent many nights snuggling and playing. I remember his colic and I remember all the nights I held him close to my body so my warmth could relax his hard little tummy, always walking him because he would cry as soon as I sat down.
He knew he had a problem with alcohol and he fought this disease with all his might, with every ounce of strength he had and he never gave up the struggle, fighting his demons until the last day.
My sister, his mom, used to dream that I was lost and that I was being dragged under in a swamp filled with snakes and monsters. After I became sober at age 23, she never had that dream again. I always say that she and her church friends prayed me sober against my will but the truth is that God does have a plan for each of us and He alone knows the reasons. We were not able to pray my nephew sober.
Yet, our human nature wants answers. God must get so sick of people at the Pearly Gates asking, “WHY?”
I want to ask, “Why me and not him? Why me and not my daughter?”
I prayed my heart out for my nephew, talked to him for several hours about how sobriety was possible for anyone, if it was possible for me. It just wasn’t in the Plan for him.
God doesn’t give us everything we ask for and He did give us Free Will. He also says no and maybe. My nephew was a no, my daughter is a maybe.
Yesterday, my sister said that if his death saved one person, it would be a comfort to her. That happened so quickly that my head is still spinning. Another nephew was at home, sick, while his mom was at my sister’s house.
He is a recovering drug addict but lately he has been drinking, a lot. Beer with shots of vodka, the same poison that killed his cousin. He got nervous after he found out about his cousin because his eyes were turning yellow and his urine was dark brown. He went to the emergency room this morning and he is now in intensive care. His spleen is swollen and his liver is inflamed. His cousin’s example made him go to the hospital and hopefully, with God’s grace, he made it there in time.
Life. It is what it is and it’s not always a picnic in the sunshine.
But if we could only remember that we make our own sandwiches and that we choose the drinks that we pour down our throats, that we pick the poisons that we put into our bodies, if we could remember that God can only work with what we give him, that He won’t force Himself on us, if we could remember that we are given choices, maybe there would be more addicts receiving a yes and less addicts destroying themselves and hurting everyone that loves them.
My sobriety is the greatest gift God ever gave me and I don’t know why me and not my nephew, why me and not my daughter.
During the coming days, as I try to comfort his mother, my sister, and as I mourn the loss of this man that I have loved since his birth 48 years ago, I will pray for courage, I will pray for strength and I will continue to pray for my Maybe Girl.
You are welcome to join me.
PS I wrote this several days ago. Tomorrow, I will stand by my sister as she buries her firstborn son. My other nephew is still in the hospital. My daughter is in prison.
522. Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. And, ride the energy of your own unique spirit. ~Kongzi/Gabrielle Roth
This post makes me feel loved…Thank you Pink Lady!
Just one of my many miracles…
Originally posted on thinkingpinkx2:
Several weeks ago my baby sister, Susanne, got in touch with me after ten years of silence. She said she needed me and I swallowed my pride, got on a plane and walked back into her life. It was the best choice that I have made in a long time, and thinking Pink helped me to make that choice. I spent two weeks with her, playing and laughing. She is now a firm believer in the power of thinking Pink.